Of reunions and coincidences.

Sometimes, life can really surprise you with its coincidences. When I first told my parents that I was going to South Africa on an unpaid internship, my mother told me (after some incoherent screaming on the dangers of Africa and the size of my loan, which then dissolved into pleading to the heavens to tell her why it was SHE that had to have such a difficult child) that we in fact had some family in the area. She had no contact with them but advised that my aunt had gotten in touch as she had been trying to piece together the family tree.

The story is this. My maternal grandmother (who was a tough, intimidating and passionate woman – and therefore easily my favourite grandparent) was Serbian, as was my maternal grandfather. She had several siblings, most of whom stayed in Serbia while my grandparents moved to Croatia probably around 50 years ago. My mother and my aunt were therefore raised in Croatia, though they went back to Serbia often as kids. When I was young I went to Belgrade with my grandparents a lot as well, and met a lot of the Serbian side of the family (my father and his side are Croatian). However, because there had been some big falling out amongst the Simic (my grandmother’s maiden name) siblings, my mother rarely got to see her cousins. In fact, the last time she saw Bosko (the name of her first cousin who is now in his 50s and lives in Johannesburg) she was my age!

When the war hit, the Serbian and Croatian sides lost pretty much all contact. Many of both sides of the family moved abroad to Canada, the US, Australia, and as I now came to find out, to South Africa. In any case, I spoke with my aunt and asked her about this part of our family. She said they seemed eager to get in touch and so I figured why not? After all, they were the relations of my favourite grandparent!
In emailing Bosko I found out that he and his wife Melita have two kids, Ivana (21) and Nikola (20) and that they were quite eager to meet me. We arranged to meet up on the long weekend so that I could spend some time with them at their place in Johannesburg, as well as go on a safari or two.

Last Thursday I waited in anticipation as Bosko made his way up to Groblersdal to pick me up. Quite nice of him actually, since it’s a 2 hour drive! I had had a crazy week, because we had a big deadline at the MFI that day and so the past two weeks had been spent working from 8am to 8pm each day. As I watched Bosko pull up to the office and step out of the car, I found my excitement overtaking my tiredness however. Bosko is a tall man with a calm and friendly air. I searched for some evidence of my grandmother in his features, but I knew I was pushing it. He for his part said that I look exactly like my mother, which I get a lot.

Climbing into the car, I was a bit on edge. Who knew what my family would be like? With our people it’s always a bit of a wildcard, and you don’t know if you will get amazing or a little nuts. I was reassured by the two hour drive however. Bosko is an airplane engineer, and his wife a interior designer. He told me they were into healthy living and grew their own aloe and other health foods. We talked about our histories and our families and how we had gotten to where we were now. It was not a boring car ride!

Arriving in Johannesburg, I met Bosko’s wife and their children and was immediately surrounded by hospitality, thereby dissipating the rest of my worry. I found out they like spicy food as well as enjoy their liquor, like any good Serbo-Croat should, and from there on it was truly like family. Even though I could not see the physical resemblances per se, I could definitely sense a similarity in attitudes and beliefs. It felt like home, and it was great!

The rest of the weekend was a flurry of activity. From an accidental visit to a Chippendale party with Melita (it really was an accident! We were trying to go watch a movie when two women just came up to us at the theatre and gave us free tickets to a movie premiere—we didn’t realize there was a pre-show, but hey, bonus!), to a hike in a nearby game resort (where we saw giraffes, zebras, kudu, iland, etc.). There was of course a lot of eating and a lot of catching up as well. It was nice to see the SA braai tradition merged with the Serbian grill traditions to delicious result. Did I mention SA is making me fat?

Melita and Bosko were also nice enough to introduce me to the sons of some friends of theirs (it’s kind of a funny thing that our people do, and akin to setting up play dates for adults) but the two guys turned out to be really fun. They showed me some of the more mainstream Jo’burg party spots. My only regret of the night was the fact that I didn’t bring nicer shoes and had to sneak around in flip-flops. A few Jager-bombs later though I was not as bothered. We partied till the wee hours and by the end of the night I had to try really hard not to keep losing my hat, as the men at the club we were at seemed to think that stealing a girl’s hat was a good way to get her attention. It felt a tad like grade school really. I was half-expecting one of these boys to shout “girls smell!” and then run away. Still, the guys I was with were great and it was a good night overall.

The next day we headed to the bird park in Monte Casino, which is this big entertainment complex in Fourways, the suburb of Johannesburg in which Bosko and family live. The birds were beautiful, but a little cheeky, and I have to admit their constant aggressive approaches towards us left me a little skittish. Especially since I was wearing my going out shirt and didn’t want it to get pooped on by a random bird, regardless of the beauty of said bird. We were also supposed to do the balloon ride but ran out of time. I will put it on my list of things to do next time I am there!

Of course it wouldn’t be a weekend in Jozi without a visit to Fleur. When I told her I was in town again, she told me that her and Phil were heading to a party and invited me along. She didn’t tell me it was a costume party and by the time I met up with her it was too late to put on an “army theme” so I just zipped up my black hoodie and tried to act tough. I was not in a really frat party mood though (and that was sort of the atmosphere of the place we went to) but luckily neither were Fleur or Phil so after a few quick drinks we snuck out and went to get a few more on a street called 7th avenue, in Melville. It was much more my style than most of the areas I had been out to so far in Jozi, because you could hop from one bar to the next without having to get into your car for a change. It reminded me a bit of Long Street in Cape Town (or for Torontonians, think Queen West but a little rougher around the edges).

Clearly, it wasn’t going to be a long night though, and at some point at the mention of new episodes of “Weeds” we made a hasty retreat back to Phil’s place to watch the new season, ice cream in hand. A little bit of heaven as far as I am concerned.
Getting back to Bosko’s place the next morning I found breakfast already in the works. As we spent our last few hours together before Nikola and Ivana drove me back to Groblersdal, I felt like I had known them for ages. We also found out through Facebook that one of my brother’s good friends was one of Melita’s closest relatives and was like a son to her when growing up! It was completely random but thus the weekend ended, as it had begun, with a coincidence. It kind of reminds me of a book I read a long time ago, which talked about how there were no coincidences, and that if they happened it meant just that you were on the right path. I know it sounds a little new-agey, but it somehow makes sense.

Despite the fact that I have no idea what will happen with my job or future, I hope I can see them all again soon, and maybe we can have a big reunion at some point as well. It just reminded me what an interesting, wonderful world it is and even if I cannot stay in SA right now, I have a strange feeling that I will be back at some point soon!